Celebration 34 Larry Plug Passmore

Celebration 34
My dad-Larry Plug Passmore

This blog is a hard one for me.  I have prayed over our relationship numerous times and I know that I am loved, even when the little girl inside tells me differently.

Growing up, my parents didn't speak kind to each other.  My dad had a quick temper and my mom's demeaning comments and ongoing complaints didn't help keep the peace in our home.  I spent a good amount of my time in my room yelling insults into my pillow.  I tried to avoid the conversations between them and promised myself that I would never speak to or about my spouse in that manner.

I have tried my hardest to NEVER communicate my disappointments, concerns, or frustrations with Michael the way I was raised.  I know I have failed!  Michael probably doesn't even know the battle I have deep within myself to control my tongue when I'm faced with these emotions and memories.

Please don't think this is a bashing of my upbringing, it's actually the true picture of Grace.  I could have held a grudge, I could have distanced myself, I could have chosen hate, I could tally the marks of hurtful words, but INSTEAD I realized he did his best.  All that time, I was selfish, only thinking about how it affected me!  I never thought about how my dad lost his own father at an early age, I never thought about how my dad work long hot hours at Carpenter's Body Works trying to provide for his family and the constant worry of being laid off yet again, I never thought about him being the youngest of several children who literally grew up with nothing, I never once thought about HIM!

God intervened, God changed my thoughts and feelings, God restored my faith in having a good relationship with my dad.  God's grace allowed me to extend grace to my dad.  I can still remember the first time I had a conversation with my dad that I actually enjoyed.  I hung up the phone and cried tears of joy,  It was life changing.

After thinking about my dad, I realized he is the reason I've always enjoyed writing my thoughts.  I can still see his notebook with his very own handwritten thoughts and ideas.  In his younger days, he even wrote poetry.  I always admired that about him.  He also taught me about hard work, to be honest, to be organized and tidy, and that cigarettes can help calm you down when your pissed :)

Most of all, he taught me to be determined and hard-headed.  In his honor, I'm continuing this Whole30 journey even when I want to quit the damn thing and smoke a cigarette.  Did I mention I'm Plug's daughter :)

Celebration 33 William Skip Mathews

Celebration 33
My father-n-love Skip Mathews.

Oh the good ole Skipper.  Anyone who knows him would tell you he's a good man.  There are so many things he has taught me while being in the family and I'm sure I will continue to learn from his example until the day I take my last breath.  I've only heard of stories about his father the "original Grand-Dad" and everyone talks about the goodness he did for his family and community.....I can only imagine that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.  My kids adore him, my husband respects his wisdom and advice, and I appreciate his kindness and wiliness to give a helping hand in ALL situations. 

Skip has rescued us from the side of road when our vehicles decided they no longer wanted to get from point A to point B.  He has chaperoned several field trips and attended class parties.  He has fixed leaking pipes, rewired new fixtures, bought new tires, and many more countless things that help my family along this journey we call life.

Many years ago, for some holiday I wrote in his card that he was a "man of action".   This is the best way I can describe him.  Not only am I speaking of him physically being there after a quick phone call to ask him a question about our latest dilemma, but a man of action for God's kingdom.  He truly embraces the commandment "Love God, Love Others". 

Years ago, when I was going through counseling I remember when I was writing information about myself the counselor asked me what the hardest question was to answer.......and I replied when I had to write down what I weighed.  It was 140 lbs.  Now, that is my GOAL WEIGHT!!  I have let myself go, I have became lazy, I have fed my disappointments with junk food, I have rewarded myself with 42oz Vanilla Cokes, and I have avoided social events because of embarrassment.  In fact, one of the reason I quit blogging and doing my celebrations is because I didn't want to put in the hard work and dedication. 

In Skip's honor, I've decided to FINALLY become a woman of action.  At the beginning of the year I started the journey of Whole30.  I'm currently on day 14.  It's been tough.  It's going to be a lifestyle that I CHOOSE to continue.  Along the way, I hope to become healthy and instill in my children the importance of being in action not only physically, but most importantly spiritually just like their Grand-Dad. 

Celebration 32 Brenda Mathews

Celebration 32
My mother-n-love Brenda Mathews.

Not going to lie, this one has been super hard for me.  Please don't insert some terrible mother-n-law images or thoughts in your head.  It's difficult because she has taught me so much.  When I think I'm done learning from her, I enter a new stage of life and need her Godly wisdom and advice.

When I was first married, she was such a good example of how to speak to and about your husband.  I hate to admit it, but I have failed mutiple times and degraded the love of my life.  It's something I truly regret.  But this I know, I have grown leaps and bounds when it comes to rejoicing in my marriage instead of complaining.

Then, I had children.  She is the one that complimented, encouraged, helped, loved me through the good and the bad.  She is always helping out anyway she can.  The days that I'm ready to throw in the towel, I will get a sweet comment from her and a smile that tells me everything will be okay.

Now that children are growing and the constant everyday neediness has decreased she has taught me to love and protect from a distance.  Please don't get me wrong I'm still very much involved,  but it's different. Instead of picking out clothes for kids to wear,  I am now approving them.  Instead of feeding my children baby food, I'm watching them cook.  Instead  of reading to them, they go to the library and pick their own books. It makes me sad, but also joyful!

 The older I get the more I realize the importance of family. My sweet mother-n-love has taught me the importance of family.  She does it well. She does it with grace. She does it with wisdom. She does it with tough love.  In her honor, I donated to a local organization that honors family.  The HOPE RESEARCH CENTER.   If it wasn't for her and her willingness to open her home and mainly her heart my sweet husband wouldn't have the upbringing he did.

Celebration 31 Holland Financial Group

Celebration 31
My current job with Holland Financial Group.

I hate this title because it seems so formal and business like, yet the Hollands are more like family to me. Almost 5 years ago, when my last baby was starting kindergarten I decided it was time for me to return to the workplace.  My resume was pretty lame, my confidence was very low, and the fear that I would fail was on high alert.  I had applied for numerous jobs and didn't even get a phone call for an interview.  Finally, a local bank called me and I went for a test and interview.  A week later, a job was offered.  It was NOT ideal, it was NOT what I wanted to do, it was NOT going to be easy with getting the kids to school.  I was worried to accept, but felt like I needed some current experience so I accepted.  I was to start in one week.

Within a few days, a good friend texted me and asked if I was still looking for a job....I said "No".  A few days went by and I kept thinking about that text, finally I called and asked him a few questions.  He had just started working for HFG and they were looking for a receptionist.  I had known the Hollands since I was little bitty, since Roger came to our house and visited with my dad.  Also, I remember them singing at the First Baptist Church.  My sister may or may not have "dated" their son Michael.  I talked with my friend, hung up, then about 2 minutes later Roger was calling me!  He said just come in and chat.  So that Friday, I stopped by the office.  I was to start the banking job the following Monday, so when I left the house I told Mike pray that it's something I enjoy, pray that it's better hours for the kids, pray that it's more money, and most of all pray that he offers me the job on the spot!  Not that I believed any of this was going to happen, but with God anything is possible.  All of this happened on that Friday.  God was truly working in the situation.

I can only say that things have gotten better through the years.  I went from part time to full time.  I have developed friendships with people and I enjoy working along side them in the insurance and security business. Anything that I have requested for my family has been honored.  They understand the importance of family and let me put my family first when it comes to schedules, vacation time, and appointments.  They make my job enjoyable.  They make me feel important.  They value my opinion.  They reward my work ethic.

I'm so very thankful that God opened doors and that he continues to bless me with a job that I truly enjoy.

They taught me that I am important and that I matter.  In their honor, I'm letting the kid's school secretary know how much I appreciate her and that I think she's AWESOME!

Celebration 30 Elaine Elliott

Celebration 30
Sweet & Caring Elaine Elliott.

It's funny when I started my own business I never would have imagined making friends with my customers. Elaine is the ONE customer that I just loved being around.  Don't get me wrong, I had many sweet ole ladies, companies, and others who I enjoyed working for, but Elaine was just different.  I remember the first time I met her, she offered her front porch to sit on and made me take time to drink some sweet tea.  After being there for just a short time, I found out something she loved more than flowers.......all her sweet fur babies.  She has dogs, cats, horses, and more hummingbirds than I ever seen in my life.  They all flock to her house because they know they will be loved and cared for.

Elaine's heart is sweet.  Elaine's heart is caring. Elaine's heart is giving.  Elaine's heart is pure.  She has no hidden agenda, no selfish thoughts, no negativity, just kindness overflows in her words, actions, and the way she lives life.

The sweetest thing and most unexpected thing that happened was the friendship that evolved between Lily and Elaine. Of course, Lily wanted to visit when I worked because it was like a small zoo :)  God intervened and made that relationship blossom into a sweet, caring, beautiful gift that will be enjoyed for years to come.  Lily loves her Elaine.  Elaine loves her Lily. They are both very protective of each other.  Lily still wants to visit Elaine, partially to see new fur babies, but mostly to talk, laugh, learn, and love her Elaine.

Elaine taught me to be selfless.  In her honor, I'm donating blood for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!

Celebration 29 Becky Goller

Celebration 29
Mama Bear Becky Goller.

Not until recently did I know that Becky had the nickname of Mama Bear, but once I found out my heart smiled.  Those who don't know her are missing out on a sweet slice of heaven on earth.  I met Becky years ago at Hoosier Uplands, but I wouldn't have labeled her as a friend. Years later God decided to change that!

Becky and Jon have become staples to our church.  They decided, or should I say God decided they would be foster parents after adopting sweet little Dylan.  They are passionate for those babies.  They are voices for the orphans.  I truly believe they are the hands and feet of our Lord.  They could have quietly fostered like many others in the community, but instead they knew that it should be much more.  They started a foster/adoptive and family placement support group.

Becky is constantly doing for others.  She is sweet, but fierce.  She is full of grace, but speaks truth.  She truly is the voice for children.  A few weeks ago, she posted on facebook a necklace she wanted Jon to get her.  Without hesitation, I ordered it.  She has given so much, I almost felt guilty buying some small necklace for her!  Then God gently reminded me, it's not about me!  I hope every time she wears this small gesture of my appreciation she knows that she truly is 100% a Mama Bear.  She earned that title!

Becky taught me to be fierce.  In her honor, I sat upon the glass floor on the Sears Tower!  I am WAY SCARED OF HEIGHTS, but with Becky's voice in my head I did it!  She would be one proud Mama Bear :)

Celebration 28 Jean Sowders

Celebration 28
One of my favorite people Jean Sowders.

While discussing with Mike what I have learned from Jean, he smiled and said just write what she means to you and it will come.  Lily voiced her opinion, that Mama Jean is what a true friend looks like.  Jean has been on my mind most of this week.  She is a brave woman!  For her privacy, I won't go into detail about why she is brave, but I'm praying for her!  

As I've been thinking about her and her friendship, my heart is overjoyed.  As I sit here and type tears fill my eyes for the many blessings I receive from her.   A few weeks ago she posted on Facebook about Pat Summit, a woman she admired and the qualities she wanted to instill in her life.  While I read that post, my first reaction was "Duh, you've accomplished that goal and then some!"   

When I think of Jean, I automatically think of a southern girl.  You know the woman I'm talking about.  It's the image in literature and movies that we secretly wish we had a friend like that in our life.  You know, the friend gracious enough to welcome anyone to sit around their table for a meal.  Jean can't fake her hospitality, kindness, and grace, it's who she is.  It overflows from her and brushes against people and changes them for the better. She is as genuine as they come.

When I think of Jean, I also think of strength, another often-cited attribute of a woman from the South.  The steel magnolias kind of strength.  A friend that would come along side and carry you to the finish line.  A strength that is mentally tough and an attitude that it's not over yet......to keep on fighting.  The kind of strength that comes from within because of will-power and perseverance.

With that strength also comes grace.  She forgives.  She looks for the best in people. She cares for people.  She has told me numerous stories about students that she is mentoring without them knowing.  She invest in their lives, she knows their stories, she looks for opportunities to share light in the darkness.  She is brave and eager to share forgiveness, wisdom, and love to those that are blessed enough to call friend.  I'm thankful for a friend that I know has my back, I'm thankful for a Mama that understands my fears, I'm thankful for a wife that gets my frustration during basketball season, but mostly I'm thankful that the southern girl decided to make Mitchell her home and invited my family over for good food and good conversation.

She taught me hospitality.  In her honor, good friends and good times are in my near future......any maybe good food if I can talk Mike into smoking some meat :)