Celebration 5
My neighbor Joyce Dorsett.
When I was just 13 years old, my neighbor Joyce seen in me a responsible, caring, and nurturing girl.
Our families were always close. Her toddler Drew, spent a lot of hours at our house. He was such a joy to be around and we looked forward to his visits. Then, along came his little sister Devin. She was perfect and made that sweet family complete. Joyce asked that I babysit those sweet children and to my surprise my parents agreed. I can still remember her husband, Bobby, sitting down with me giving me instructions, pouring his heart out about how much those kiddos meant to him, and making sure I knew the responsibilities that were required.
I'm thankful for those times with the Dorsett kids. They taught me so much in my young life. While others my age were riding mopeds, spending their days poolside, or fighting with their siblings....I was being needed and wanted by two sweet souls. I learned about money. I learned about patience. I learned about time management. I learned how to calm a crying baby. I learned how to entertain a crazy 2 year old boy.
Joyce and Bobby made it easy. I watched them love each other, I watched them love their kids and I followed their example. I watched them closely. I wanted to learn how to parent, how to love and treat your spouse, how to take time for each other even with the chaos of parenting, and how to have fun as a family.
Looking back, I can't believe they entrusted me with such a mission, but I'm so thankful they did. They taught me the importance of family. In their honor, I'm preparing a meal for a family that just added a second daughter to their home just days ago.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Celebration 4 Mandi Mayden Dersch
Celebration 4
My childhood friend Mandi Mayden.
We were inseparable. We wore matching clothes. We would wear our hair the same way. We talked about boys. We sang at the top of our lungs to all the boys to men songs. We were best friends. We loved each other one day, hated each other the next. If she wasn't at my house, I was at hers. All my Jr. high yearbooks she wrote that we would be best friends forever..........then life happens.
Today I'm sorry to type that she is not even one of my facebook friends. I did try to add her, but only because I knew she would be one of the people I wanted to celebrate. Our lives just went separate ways. I don't know of any one reason that it did, at least nothing that I'm aware of, it just happened. It's strange to me to see her in public nowadays and not even a hello is passed between us, when we used to finish each other sentences.
She married. I married. She became a mother. I became a mother. Jobs. School. Just Life Happened.
Most of my memories with her includes adventure. We stuck out of houses to be with boyfriends. We drove around so we could smoke cigarettes. We spied on cheating boyfriends. We went skinny dipping. We made prank calls. We toilet papered neighbors. We were a little mischievous. We only did a few things that were illegal.
Maybe that's why we distant ourselves. Both of us remember those times and those memories and choose to be a different person. Our only identity we have with each other is the past mistakes, past dreams we had for our future, and past disappointments.
I don't know.
I do know what she taught me in our friendship. Always follow your dreams. Since she was little, she dreamed of being a nurse. She would study for numerous hours. She would go to school as time and money allowed. She finally became a nurse after years of waiting. If she is anything like the friend I had in Jr. High, I KNOW she is awesome. She has a compassionate spirit, a crazy sense of humor, and a beautiful smile that can calm the storm. In her honor, I made a special delivery to two people that are outstanding Nurses.
My childhood friend Mandi Mayden.
We were inseparable. We wore matching clothes. We would wear our hair the same way. We talked about boys. We sang at the top of our lungs to all the boys to men songs. We were best friends. We loved each other one day, hated each other the next. If she wasn't at my house, I was at hers. All my Jr. high yearbooks she wrote that we would be best friends forever..........then life happens.
Today I'm sorry to type that she is not even one of my facebook friends. I did try to add her, but only because I knew she would be one of the people I wanted to celebrate. Our lives just went separate ways. I don't know of any one reason that it did, at least nothing that I'm aware of, it just happened. It's strange to me to see her in public nowadays and not even a hello is passed between us, when we used to finish each other sentences.
She married. I married. She became a mother. I became a mother. Jobs. School. Just Life Happened.
Most of my memories with her includes adventure. We stuck out of houses to be with boyfriends. We drove around so we could smoke cigarettes. We spied on cheating boyfriends. We went skinny dipping. We made prank calls. We toilet papered neighbors. We were a little mischievous. We only did a few things that were illegal.
Maybe that's why we distant ourselves. Both of us remember those times and those memories and choose to be a different person. Our only identity we have with each other is the past mistakes, past dreams we had for our future, and past disappointments.
I don't know.
I do know what she taught me in our friendship. Always follow your dreams. Since she was little, she dreamed of being a nurse. She would study for numerous hours. She would go to school as time and money allowed. She finally became a nurse after years of waiting. If she is anything like the friend I had in Jr. High, I KNOW she is awesome. She has a compassionate spirit, a crazy sense of humor, and a beautiful smile that can calm the storm. In her honor, I made a special delivery to two people that are outstanding Nurses.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Celebration 3 John Passmore
Celebration 3
My brother John Passmore.
John is a hard fellow to figure out! Growing up I didn't so much like him. He was the typical big brother....making fun of me, calling me names, locking me in closets while humming the Jaws theme song. I still will not get in the ocean for fear of sharks! He secluded himself from me probably because I was his annoying younger sister.
Age does something to you. Makes you more appreciative of family. Makes you become more "chill". Makes you see relationships in a different perspective.
This is what I see in my brother.
He is a hard worker! There have been countless people who come up to me and tell me how he has taken care of them. I know he has delivered gravel, cleaned snow off of driveways, plowed gardens with his tractor. He usually just shows up willing to give you a helping hand. No money, no glory, just a loving servant.
He is a good dad. You go to a ballgame, you see John. Dance recitals, you see John. Track meets, you see John. Choir concerts, you see John. He is the ever present father figure not only to his kids, but also to many others.
He is proud of his community. He expects the best in everyone. He wants the younger generation to have role models to look up to. He wants children to be disciplined is their speech, actions, and attitude. He wants the older generations to take pride in our youth. Be supportive. Be present. He volunteers his time for the future of Mitchell. He has coached several young boys and girls in all sports and all ages. He is proud of our little town and continues to give back his talent, his money, and his time.
He has taught me the importance of community. In his honor, I picked up all the trash around the high school baseball field.
My brother John Passmore.
John is a hard fellow to figure out! Growing up I didn't so much like him. He was the typical big brother....making fun of me, calling me names, locking me in closets while humming the Jaws theme song. I still will not get in the ocean for fear of sharks! He secluded himself from me probably because I was his annoying younger sister.
Age does something to you. Makes you more appreciative of family. Makes you become more "chill". Makes you see relationships in a different perspective.
This is what I see in my brother.
He is a hard worker! There have been countless people who come up to me and tell me how he has taken care of them. I know he has delivered gravel, cleaned snow off of driveways, plowed gardens with his tractor. He usually just shows up willing to give you a helping hand. No money, no glory, just a loving servant.
He is a good dad. You go to a ballgame, you see John. Dance recitals, you see John. Track meets, you see John. Choir concerts, you see John. He is the ever present father figure not only to his kids, but also to many others.
He is proud of his community. He expects the best in everyone. He wants the younger generation to have role models to look up to. He wants children to be disciplined is their speech, actions, and attitude. He wants the older generations to take pride in our youth. Be supportive. Be present. He volunteers his time for the future of Mitchell. He has coached several young boys and girls in all sports and all ages. He is proud of our little town and continues to give back his talent, his money, and his time.
He has taught me the importance of community. In his honor, I picked up all the trash around the high school baseball field.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Celebration 2 Jamie Briscoe
Celebration 2
My sister Jamie.
Some wouldn't believe the stories I could tell from our childhood knowing the beautiful, thoughtful, and quiet person she is today.
SHE IS A PROTECTOR. She protected both my brother and I, in the earlier days of my life from the neighborhood bully.....she truly punched him and he never bothered our family again. In my teenage days, she tried to protect me from breakups with boys and squabbles with friends. Later in my early 20's she pleaded with me to choose a different life style that she knew was disastrous. I've never told her that she was the reason I left that life and turned my eyes towards Jesus and his everlasting love for me. Thank you for that!
SHE IS MY ADVISER. Ask my husband, when I first had Lily I wouldn't do ANYTHING without calling her first. She is one of the first calls I make if making a hard decision, struggling with life, or if I need someone to be my cheerleader. She has always given me hard loving truth and I'm appreciative of that.
SHE IS MY HELPER. She has helped me wallpaper, remove wallpaper, paint, paint, paint, paint some more! Babysat Lily when she was little so I could work. Helped me love music and dance, I have learned to love reading because she would always read to me when I was little. I can still remember word for word "Cat, you need a Hat!" She has saved me time and time again when it comes to art shows and science fairs. That basement isn't full of stuff for no reason :)
She has taught me unselfish love. In her honor today, I paid for a girls dance lessons for one month.
My sister Jamie.
Some wouldn't believe the stories I could tell from our childhood knowing the beautiful, thoughtful, and quiet person she is today.
SHE IS A PROTECTOR. She protected both my brother and I, in the earlier days of my life from the neighborhood bully.....she truly punched him and he never bothered our family again. In my teenage days, she tried to protect me from breakups with boys and squabbles with friends. Later in my early 20's she pleaded with me to choose a different life style that she knew was disastrous. I've never told her that she was the reason I left that life and turned my eyes towards Jesus and his everlasting love for me. Thank you for that!
SHE IS MY ADVISER. Ask my husband, when I first had Lily I wouldn't do ANYTHING without calling her first. She is one of the first calls I make if making a hard decision, struggling with life, or if I need someone to be my cheerleader. She has always given me hard loving truth and I'm appreciative of that.
SHE IS MY HELPER. She has helped me wallpaper, remove wallpaper, paint, paint, paint, paint some more! Babysat Lily when she was little so I could work. Helped me love music and dance, I have learned to love reading because she would always read to me when I was little. I can still remember word for word "Cat, you need a Hat!" She has saved me time and time again when it comes to art shows and science fairs. That basement isn't full of stuff for no reason :)
She has taught me unselfish love. In her honor today, I paid for a girls dance lessons for one month.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Church Sucks!
A personal relationship with Jesus includes a public relationship with his people. Do you selfishly want the benefits without the burdens? ~ Mark Driscoll
YES!! YES!! YES!! Can I get an Amen!
Church is hard. Being motivated to go to church, exhausting at times. Church is needed, but not always wanted. Lately, I have been disappointed in God's people, including myself. It's a fight with myself most Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, convincing myself that it's better to go even with a not so right attitude than to not go at all, but then Satan begins to whisper in my ear, you hypocrite, big fat liar, be a false witness because you are a worthless Jesus follower.
Most of this frustration comes with the relationships or lack of relationships that I have with his people. If I could just sing praises to him daily, be inspired by his word, feel the peace that he freely gives, then being a Jesus follower wouldn't be such a task. But, we are thrown in with Judas's of our days who look to betray our trust, we are expected to mingle with the Thomas's who doubt what Jesus is doing in the church, and work along side the Martha's who are way to busy to focus on Jesus because of the task they have at hand.
My husband always call these people EGR people. You know who they are, when you see them at church, you politely go the other way. Never rude, never friendly, just avoid them if at all possible. Extra (E) Grace (G) Required (R). Funny thing about EGR's are guess what, I am someone's EGR. Someone pretends that they need to go to the bathroom when they see me walking their way. Someone talks about me and my annoying habits, my disrespectful comments, my long annoying conversations, and my lack of singing ability :) That's hard to swallow, but the truth!
We are called to Love God, Love Others. Why couldn't it just be Love God. I want to say I have the Love God figured out. but if that was true loving others, loving his people wouldn't be such a burden! Praying that God intervenes in the relationships that make it more of a burden than a blessing to be the Church. Praying that if I'm the Judas, Thomas, or Martha that makes it impossible to worship God, than he gives me friends like Nathan to call me out on my behavior! Until then, I'll continue to Believe all things are possible, Hope all things will be easy, and have Faith all things will work out.
YES!! YES!! YES!! Can I get an Amen!
Church is hard. Being motivated to go to church, exhausting at times. Church is needed, but not always wanted. Lately, I have been disappointed in God's people, including myself. It's a fight with myself most Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, convincing myself that it's better to go even with a not so right attitude than to not go at all, but then Satan begins to whisper in my ear, you hypocrite, big fat liar, be a false witness because you are a worthless Jesus follower.
Most of this frustration comes with the relationships or lack of relationships that I have with his people. If I could just sing praises to him daily, be inspired by his word, feel the peace that he freely gives, then being a Jesus follower wouldn't be such a task. But, we are thrown in with Judas's of our days who look to betray our trust, we are expected to mingle with the Thomas's who doubt what Jesus is doing in the church, and work along side the Martha's who are way to busy to focus on Jesus because of the task they have at hand.
My husband always call these people EGR people. You know who they are, when you see them at church, you politely go the other way. Never rude, never friendly, just avoid them if at all possible. Extra (E) Grace (G) Required (R). Funny thing about EGR's are guess what, I am someone's EGR. Someone pretends that they need to go to the bathroom when they see me walking their way. Someone talks about me and my annoying habits, my disrespectful comments, my long annoying conversations, and my lack of singing ability :) That's hard to swallow, but the truth!
We are called to Love God, Love Others. Why couldn't it just be Love God. I want to say I have the Love God figured out. but if that was true loving others, loving his people wouldn't be such a burden! Praying that God intervenes in the relationships that make it more of a burden than a blessing to be the Church. Praying that if I'm the Judas, Thomas, or Martha that makes it impossible to worship God, than he gives me friends like Nathan to call me out on my behavior! Until then, I'll continue to Believe all things are possible, Hope all things will be easy, and have Faith all things will work out.
Daddy
Dear Papaw,
If I had a wish and it had to be for someone else I would wish a wish for you. I would wish that you would stop smoking and wish that you would stop saying inipropret (inappropriate) words. If I had to pick one I would pick the words.
PS. It makes me upset that I know you say words that I don't like. It makes me sad.
PLEASE STOP!!
Lily
My daughter didn't want me reading this, she would really be upset with me if she knew I was blogging about it. Hopefully one day, when she matures, she can read my thoughts and appreciate my wisdom :) What makes it more interesting is the conversation that followed.
Lily: Did you read that letter?
Me: Yes, I did. What are you planning on doing with it?
Lily: Give it to Papaw.
Me: Well, if I had to choose between those two things, I would choose him to stop smoking.
Lily: Well, hmm, smoking hurts him, his words hurt others.
Right then and there, I wanted to crawl into my bed and be done for the night. This little girl understands the power of words, accepts reality for what it is, and chooses to ASK him to change his behavior. Why didn't I ever do that? It took me years to accept my dad for who he was, forgive him for his harsh words, accept reality and know that I needed to love him like Jesus demanded. That's really hard. I NEVER thought I should have a discussion with him and ask him to be wiser when it came to the way he spoke. Instead I would take every word that rolled off his tongue and think of ways that it offended me. Still to this day, there are times, I interpret his words to mean something he truly doesn't say. My husband has been kind and gentle in rebuking me when I twist his words to make me feel worthless. I chose to live my life that way. I chose to suffer in silence. I chose everyday to think of ways that he had damaged me. I chose to live as the victim of circumstances. When in all reality, I chose hatred.
My dad would be shocked if he knew some of things I did in rebellion, proving to him that I could be worthless and stupid. My dad would be heartbroken if he knew that the "real" song I wanted to dance with him at my wedding, was "Daddy" from Alanis Morrisette. My dad would be ashamed if he knew all those years, I kept dates, times, circumstances, in my head of disappointments and harsh words. I kept them like a daily diary, the memories of my childhood would be hashed over & over when I lay in bed at night. But, with so many things in my life, God intervened.
The woman I was becoming......negative, fearful, distrustful, bitchy, mean wasn't God's plan for me. I started facing some of those childhood memories, some fact, some fiction, and forgave. It wasn't easy. It wasn't a quick fix. It was a life-changing decision for me to realize that this man, loved me. He wasn't the best at showing it to me, at least that's what I thought. Now that I'm more mature, I realize his love language. He was a provider, he was a hard worker, he was honest, but most of all he was and is my dad. Not right, not wrong, just different than what I envisioned our relationship being. Does he love me? Absolutely. Is he proud of me? Yep, most days. Does he wish he would have done things differently? I think so. Maybe I will get enough nerve and ASK him......or have Lily write him a letter :)
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Conversations that make you go Hmmm
The parents exist to teach the child, but also they must learn what the child has to teach them; and the child has a very good deal to teach them. Arnold Bennett
As promised, my facebook status the other day said "Interesting conversation this morning in the car with Lily....she is a deep thinker. To much to write here, but I think a blog is in the future. She has me thinking." First of all, why does she always ask me the hard questions while traveling in the car where I can't escape and I can't distract her? So, here it goes.
Some of you may not know, but this year our children are attending St. Vincent Catholic School and so far, so good! Anyway, we were talking about Mass and how they worship differently than us.....and of course they have REAL WINE :) Lily still can't get over that fact. That conversation led us down the path as to what teachings we believe in that are alike, what teachings we believe in that are different, and I tried to explain to her that we share the main point which was Jesus died for us on the cross. She agreed that was important. Then, silence, silence scares me because I know she's thinking. "Mom, I have a question." Yep, here it comes. "Why is it that some parents drop their children off at church and don't stay themselves?" Being blessed with some years of parenting I followed her question with a question, Mike has taught me that! To avoid the quotations and confusion as who said what I'm doing the following format.
Me: Well, how does that make you feel when you see that?
Lily: It makes me sad. It makes me wonder if the parents think that church teaches them bad things.
Me: I don't think parents think church is teaching them bad things because if they did they wouldn't send their children there.
Lily: Then why don't they stay?
Me: Maybe they are busy, maybe they don't feel good, maybe they don't enjoy their particular class.
Lily: That's the most important thing they can teach their children which is to love Jesus.
Me: That's true
Lily: It's hard for me to understand because I know the parents love Jesus (as this time she inserted several families but I'm not calling you out). It's hard for me to understand if they really love Jesus because church is where you need to learn more about him and if they are telling their children to come learn, why are they not staying? Just confusing to me, saying one thing, acting another way.
Me: Well that's good for you to think about, when I was a little girl my Mom always dropped us off at church and never stayed, but now that I'm older I realize it's because she worked on Sundays. I wondered the same thing as you when I was younger and I wished my Mom would have told me the reason because it made me kinda mad at her. That's one thing I want to do different, give you my reason for my thinking.
Lily: Yeah, you do that all the time!
Whew, that was fun! Almost there, almost there, get this girl out of my car. Silence. Crap. "Mom, I have another question." Here we go again.
Lily: Why do you not take communion sometimes?
Me: Well hmmm, sometimes I don't feel close to God. I haven't prayed that week, I haven't read my bible, I haven't made good decisions, so I don't think it's right to take communion just because it's there.
Lily: He loves you no matter what
Me: I know, but it's just my personal decision not to go through the motions, but to really think about what it means to follow him.
We are in the parking lot. Getting closer. She looks over at me with the most innocent, loving, manner and smiles as to say I love you, but most of all God loves you. I held it together until they were all out of the car, then tears flowed. At that very moment, my heart leaped for joy that my daughter gets it, but my heart also ached because of what she is witnessing in her own church. I know parents are not perfect, I'm far from it, but it made me so aware that little eyes are watching all the time. It reminded me that not only am I responsible for my own, but all of God's children rather newborn or elderly. We are truly his hands and feet. We are always preaching rather with words or most importantly our actions.
I don't know what to do about this conversation except pray about it. I've been praying that parents, who I know love Jesus, will feel convicted if they need to get it together. I was certainly convicted! Praying that I will become a leader in our home. I'm praying that I will be a good example to my children. Days that I feel like I'm a complete failure, I'm going to remember this conversation and know that I have to press on even when I'm ready to throw in the towel. I'm going to quit complaining and start rejoicing. I'm praying that God will put situations in my life where I can be Jesus to someone, especially in front of my children. I'm having childlike faith and praying for excitement to be in my heart when it comes to church. I'm choosing to be the teacher, who also waits to be taught about love, commitment, and trust. I'm truly a blessed woman.
As promised, my facebook status the other day said "Interesting conversation this morning in the car with Lily....she is a deep thinker. To much to write here, but I think a blog is in the future. She has me thinking." First of all, why does she always ask me the hard questions while traveling in the car where I can't escape and I can't distract her? So, here it goes.
Some of you may not know, but this year our children are attending St. Vincent Catholic School and so far, so good! Anyway, we were talking about Mass and how they worship differently than us.....and of course they have REAL WINE :) Lily still can't get over that fact. That conversation led us down the path as to what teachings we believe in that are alike, what teachings we believe in that are different, and I tried to explain to her that we share the main point which was Jesus died for us on the cross. She agreed that was important. Then, silence, silence scares me because I know she's thinking. "Mom, I have a question." Yep, here it comes. "Why is it that some parents drop their children off at church and don't stay themselves?" Being blessed with some years of parenting I followed her question with a question, Mike has taught me that! To avoid the quotations and confusion as who said what I'm doing the following format.
Me: Well, how does that make you feel when you see that?
Lily: It makes me sad. It makes me wonder if the parents think that church teaches them bad things.
Me: I don't think parents think church is teaching them bad things because if they did they wouldn't send their children there.
Lily: Then why don't they stay?
Me: Maybe they are busy, maybe they don't feel good, maybe they don't enjoy their particular class.
Lily: That's the most important thing they can teach their children which is to love Jesus.
Me: That's true
Lily: It's hard for me to understand because I know the parents love Jesus (as this time she inserted several families but I'm not calling you out). It's hard for me to understand if they really love Jesus because church is where you need to learn more about him and if they are telling their children to come learn, why are they not staying? Just confusing to me, saying one thing, acting another way.
Me: Well that's good for you to think about, when I was a little girl my Mom always dropped us off at church and never stayed, but now that I'm older I realize it's because she worked on Sundays. I wondered the same thing as you when I was younger and I wished my Mom would have told me the reason because it made me kinda mad at her. That's one thing I want to do different, give you my reason for my thinking.
Lily: Yeah, you do that all the time!
Whew, that was fun! Almost there, almost there, get this girl out of my car. Silence. Crap. "Mom, I have another question." Here we go again.
Lily: Why do you not take communion sometimes?
Me: Well hmmm, sometimes I don't feel close to God. I haven't prayed that week, I haven't read my bible, I haven't made good decisions, so I don't think it's right to take communion just because it's there.
Lily: He loves you no matter what
Me: I know, but it's just my personal decision not to go through the motions, but to really think about what it means to follow him.
We are in the parking lot. Getting closer. She looks over at me with the most innocent, loving, manner and smiles as to say I love you, but most of all God loves you. I held it together until they were all out of the car, then tears flowed. At that very moment, my heart leaped for joy that my daughter gets it, but my heart also ached because of what she is witnessing in her own church. I know parents are not perfect, I'm far from it, but it made me so aware that little eyes are watching all the time. It reminded me that not only am I responsible for my own, but all of God's children rather newborn or elderly. We are truly his hands and feet. We are always preaching rather with words or most importantly our actions.
I don't know what to do about this conversation except pray about it. I've been praying that parents, who I know love Jesus, will feel convicted if they need to get it together. I was certainly convicted! Praying that I will become a leader in our home. I'm praying that I will be a good example to my children. Days that I feel like I'm a complete failure, I'm going to remember this conversation and know that I have to press on even when I'm ready to throw in the towel. I'm going to quit complaining and start rejoicing. I'm praying that God will put situations in my life where I can be Jesus to someone, especially in front of my children. I'm having childlike faith and praying for excitement to be in my heart when it comes to church. I'm choosing to be the teacher, who also waits to be taught about love, commitment, and trust. I'm truly a blessed woman.
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