Today in the local newspaper there was an article about young people turning away from religion. The following quotes could have been said directly by me (even though I'm not in my early 20's). Here's the section of the article that spoke to me as I felt someone had crawled into my head & wrote my feelings down for all to read!
Young people read in scripture about the great risks people took on behalf of their faith and feel as if their experience in church was very safe and innocuous and devoid of challenge,” he said. “They say that God seemed missing from their church experience.”
“Sometimes we preachers are guilty of communicating Bible truths without applying it and making it relevant to young people and the issues they are facing,” he said. “When we fail to apply Biblical truths to the 21st century, we fail our young people.”
These last few months, okay who am I kidding, these last few years I really don't know why I go to church! If it wasn't for my hubby being
the man he is, this "young lady" would stay in bed. I know, I know what about my children. Sure I want to teach them that church is important, but more importantly I want them to love God, love others, as Jesus did. To be completely honest, the church fails time after time, when it comes to true sacrifice of our time, our money, and our commitment!
I'm not sure how to get out of this funk! Any wisdom on the matter would be greatly appreciated! We (I) have spoken to the elders about our concerns that we see in the church. I go to church every Sunday with an open heart, yearning to be filled with the holy spirit, leaving feeling fresh & renewed by worshiping God.....but it's just not happening. I attend Wednesday night bible study only to walk away frustrated with mediocre discussion, so much lip service, no actions needed. Then, Sunday night we are suppose to have a small group which we can be accountable to, have close relationships with.....well that ain't happening!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing my church, I'm bashing all churches! Are we really different from the world? Are we really sacrificing? Are we too comfortable to really be working for Gods kingdom? Are we really on a journey or have we pushed the auto pilot button?
All these thoughts & questions that I wrestle with are just gaps in the sidewalk that occasionally I trip over in my daily walk. Sometimes I can just prepare myself & step over them rejoicing in my ability to see them ahead of time to avoid the embarrassment of my fall. Other times, I'm walking too fast to even notice the instability that lays ahead. Then there are times, like now, that I see the gaps, I want to avoid them, but for some reason I can't & I stumble........but I always make it to my destination. Maybe a little bruised, extremely tired, frustrated beyond words, but FAITHFUL to finish the walk.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Sunday, August 28, 2011
What a privilege to carry!
Today in our sunday school class, a question was asked of us. List 3 things that stress you out about parenting. Immediately, I could think of about 20 things that "get on my nerves" but the word stressed really got me thinking. My three were in no particular order, death of my child/children either through freak accident or illness, my children making the right decisions, & safety/innocence. Not that I think of these every waking minute, but I must admit these things have made me lose some precious beauty sleep. How do I as a parent release that control & trust in God? Have confidence that what we are doing as parents will keep them safe & mature them into loving adults? And if he decides to take them earlier than what I expected, to be okay with that? In all the craziness that bounces back and forth in my head, I have been convinced that I am truly blessed to be called a mother. What better self help book to read about parenting than the bible! What humbleness I have to realize that God has trusted me, Joni Mathews, to raise his children here on earth. What a privilage that is.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thinking to Thanking??
Feeling blah! I really want to write something uplifting and positive, I have so many things to be thankful for. Yet sometimes I just can't do it, today is one of those days. Sorry.
Things that are stressing me
1. My hubby's happiness
2. Grant needing glasses
3. My house appraisal
4. Unorganized house
5. Friends that used to be present, now are distant
6. Paying for Mike's Master's program
7. Truck making a funny sound (transmission is my diagnosis)
8. My big fat _____!!
9. Relationship with the Almighty
10. Maddox's reading ability
11. Basketball season
12. Lily's innocence
13. Lack of good role models
14. Death
15. Church
Hoping if I write them down it will ease my mind and anxiety. God please see my words, give peace to my thoughts, and let me follow with faith. Amen
Things that are stressing me
1. My hubby's happiness
2. Grant needing glasses
3. My house appraisal
4. Unorganized house
5. Friends that used to be present, now are distant
6. Paying for Mike's Master's program
7. Truck making a funny sound (transmission is my diagnosis)
8. My big fat _____!!
9. Relationship with the Almighty
10. Maddox's reading ability
11. Basketball season
12. Lily's innocence
13. Lack of good role models
14. Death
15. Church
Hoping if I write them down it will ease my mind and anxiety. God please see my words, give peace to my thoughts, and let me follow with faith. Amen
Monday, September 20, 2010
Dream Weaver
A dream has power to poison sleep. ~Percy Bysshe Shelley
Dreams are so mysterious! For the most part, I remember my dreams every night. Another thing that I do with dreams are do-overs, at least that's what I call it. If I'm dreaming something terrible, I will wake myself up, think rationally what I would do in the situation, then go back to my dream and have a do-over. Kinda like a movie, stop it, rewind it, play it again but this time with another scene. Then if something happens in the dream that I didn't think about (ex: having a cell with no service) then the process starts all over. My hubby thinks this is awesome, I think it's exhausting!!! Yes, it's cool that I can change the outcome, but I would rather wake up and NOT go back to the nightmare.
A few years ago, my dreams were the all dramatic, unchanging, predictable soap opera. You know, the show that's the same today as it was 15 years ago. Same problems, same solutions, same type of character, but just in different locations. The character (me) was always hiding because I had seen something terrible. My solution was to run, hide, and try to find help before my life was taken by some stranger for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had this soap opera dream for at least 10 years. Luckily, after some soul searching, Godly counseling, and determination I tackled this nightmare and faced some of the problems that had happened in my past that I was desperately trying to run from. Thankfully, my soap opera was canceled because the producer decided to pursue a different path :)
Today, my reoccurring dream is some type of torture. It usually consist of me or my family being an innocent victim to unimaginable events. The outcome isn't pleasant and for some reason I can't create a do-over because it's usually bigger than I am. Either a nuclear bomb exploding in the US, a terrorist beheading my family, or a deadly epidemic that has been released by our own government. Scary huh? I'm desperately trying to figure out what the underline problem/situation is so I again can cancel this everlasting horror movie. Until then........I'm exhausted!!!
Dreams are so mysterious! For the most part, I remember my dreams every night. Another thing that I do with dreams are do-overs, at least that's what I call it. If I'm dreaming something terrible, I will wake myself up, think rationally what I would do in the situation, then go back to my dream and have a do-over. Kinda like a movie, stop it, rewind it, play it again but this time with another scene. Then if something happens in the dream that I didn't think about (ex: having a cell with no service) then the process starts all over. My hubby thinks this is awesome, I think it's exhausting!!! Yes, it's cool that I can change the outcome, but I would rather wake up and NOT go back to the nightmare.
A few years ago, my dreams were the all dramatic, unchanging, predictable soap opera. You know, the show that's the same today as it was 15 years ago. Same problems, same solutions, same type of character, but just in different locations. The character (me) was always hiding because I had seen something terrible. My solution was to run, hide, and try to find help before my life was taken by some stranger for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had this soap opera dream for at least 10 years. Luckily, after some soul searching, Godly counseling, and determination I tackled this nightmare and faced some of the problems that had happened in my past that I was desperately trying to run from. Thankfully, my soap opera was canceled because the producer decided to pursue a different path :)
Today, my reoccurring dream is some type of torture. It usually consist of me or my family being an innocent victim to unimaginable events. The outcome isn't pleasant and for some reason I can't create a do-over because it's usually bigger than I am. Either a nuclear bomb exploding in the US, a terrorist beheading my family, or a deadly epidemic that has been released by our own government. Scary huh? I'm desperately trying to figure out what the underline problem/situation is so I again can cancel this everlasting horror movie. Until then........I'm exhausted!!!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
WANTED:
FULL TIME CHILD CARE AND HOUSEKEEPING POSITION -2 children ages 8 and 10 years. •Must have valid driver's license •Non-smoking environment •Daily housekeeping required •Some cooking •Transportation to and from school •Some errands •References required •Monday-Friday Approx. 40-50 hours per week •Excellent pay - including paid vacation & holidays We are looking for someone who loves children. This position would be financially rewarding. You would become a very important part of our family. Mother and Father are professionals.
Okay, if you agree that the above statement is a good way to spend your hard earned money than my suggestion is to leave my blog at this time.
Now, if you are continuing with me then I need to say welcome aboard :) This is one of my bandwagons. There are so many things wrong with the above I really don't know where to begin. So I thought I would write my own wanted ad to try and justify my thinking/beliefs.
WANTED: FULL TIME PARENTS -# of children you can handle. Must have the ability to ride a bike and a driver license would just be an added bonus •Non-smoking/non-cursing/non-yelling environment •Daily reading required •Lots of cooking involvement & experiments •Transportation to and from school or to the park •Some errands will be required to teach responsibility and kindness to others •References required from the Almighty •24 hrs/day 365 days Approx. your whole life •Excellent pay - including fun filled vacations & holidays that will form new family traditions. Looking for someone who will love their own children. This position will be greatly rewarding. You will become a very important part of your family. Mothers and Fathers who are dedicated to one another and trying to raise their own children instead of worrying about what professional title they have before or after their name.
Okay, if you agree that the above statement is a good way to spend your hard earned money than my suggestion is to leave my blog at this time.
Now, if you are continuing with me then I need to say welcome aboard :) This is one of my bandwagons. There are so many things wrong with the above I really don't know where to begin. So I thought I would write my own wanted ad to try and justify my thinking/beliefs.
WANTED: FULL TIME PARENTS -# of children you can handle. Must have the ability to ride a bike and a driver license would just be an added bonus •Non-smoking/non-cursing/non-yelling environment •Daily reading required •Lots of cooking involvement & experiments •Transportation to and from school or to the park •Some errands will be required to teach responsibility and kindness to others •References required from the Almighty •24 hrs/day 365 days Approx. your whole life •Excellent pay - including fun filled vacations & holidays that will form new family traditions. Looking for someone who will love their own children. This position will be greatly rewarding. You will become a very important part of your family. Mothers and Fathers who are dedicated to one another and trying to raise their own children instead of worrying about what professional title they have before or after their name.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
That's just BS!
Ok, this is an inside joke for some. If you are on facebook and you read some peoples status about how great their life is, they have well behaved children, their marriage has no faults, basically they are living happily ever after. The comment that my little fingers want to type is BS! So here is my chance for Karma, please if you dare leave a comment :) Here are my BS moments!
1. He leaves me enough coffee in the morning for my one cup
2. He rubs my feet without me asking
3. He runs my bath water when he knows I'm stressed and entertains children so I can have some alone time
4. He buys tampons
5. He never complains about my cooking even though I know I can't come close to his mama's
6. He plays baseball with Maddox the first time he ask
7. He tells Lily that she is so pretty, but even prettier when she smiles
8. He laughs at Grant for all the little silly things he says and does
9. He reads his Bible and tries to live by example
10. He buys me cherry cokes so big that I can fit my head into them
11. He loves his parents
12. He knows how to empty the dishwasher
13. He puts my laundry away (one of the task I despise)
14. He works so I can stay home
15. He prays
16. He doesn't get the name competitive Mike for nothing
17. He tells me that I'm sexy
18. He knows what my favorite flower is
19. He has fixed my parents house into our home
20. He builds snowman with our children while I stay warm inside
21. He starts the car on cold winter days
22. He gets up with Lily on school days so I can sleep in
23. He helps with homework (he's great at Math)
24. He's smart
25. He's kind
26. He's helpful
27. He's sensitive
28. He's smart with money
29. He's wise
30. He will fill my car up with gas
31. He's funny
32. He's affectionate
33. He cooks all my meat so I don't have to see it raw or even worse touch it raw
34. He's gentle when correcting my behavior or attitude
35. He cleaned out the nasty basement this summer so I would quit having asthma attacks
36. My porch is GLORIOUS
37. He always gets in the pool with our children because their Mama doesn't like what she looks like in a swimsuit
38. He wants to adopt someday
39. He loves to teach
40. He is the love of my life, my true best friend, my boyfriend, my favorite man!
The BS List ......Best Spouse List
created and submitted by Joni Mathews
1. He leaves me enough coffee in the morning for my one cup
2. He rubs my feet without me asking
3. He runs my bath water when he knows I'm stressed and entertains children so I can have some alone time
4. He buys tampons
5. He never complains about my cooking even though I know I can't come close to his mama's
6. He plays baseball with Maddox the first time he ask
7. He tells Lily that she is so pretty, but even prettier when she smiles
8. He laughs at Grant for all the little silly things he says and does
9. He reads his Bible and tries to live by example
10. He buys me cherry cokes so big that I can fit my head into them
11. He loves his parents
12. He knows how to empty the dishwasher
13. He puts my laundry away (one of the task I despise)
14. He works so I can stay home
15. He prays
16. He doesn't get the name competitive Mike for nothing
17. He tells me that I'm sexy
18. He knows what my favorite flower is
19. He has fixed my parents house into our home
20. He builds snowman with our children while I stay warm inside
21. He starts the car on cold winter days
22. He gets up with Lily on school days so I can sleep in
23. He helps with homework (he's great at Math)
24. He's smart
25. He's kind
26. He's helpful
27. He's sensitive
28. He's smart with money
29. He's wise
30. He will fill my car up with gas
31. He's funny
32. He's affectionate
33. He cooks all my meat so I don't have to see it raw or even worse touch it raw
34. He's gentle when correcting my behavior or attitude
35. He cleaned out the nasty basement this summer so I would quit having asthma attacks
36. My porch is GLORIOUS
37. He always gets in the pool with our children because their Mama doesn't like what she looks like in a swimsuit
38. He wants to adopt someday
39. He loves to teach
40. He is the love of my life, my true best friend, my boyfriend, my favorite man!
The BS List ......Best Spouse List
created and submitted by Joni Mathews
Friday, June 11, 2010
e=mc^2
You can not solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created it - Albert Einstein
First of all, I know that my hubby is so impressed that I am quoting the one and only Albert :) This quote spoke to me when I read it, my first impression was yeah that's the truth....wish I could forward that to some of the "special" people in my life. Then, I stopped and thought to myself what problem am I rehashing daily? What decisions do I make that cater to this reoccurring problem that I had yesterday, months ago, and probably even years ago. Some of them are bright lights flashing as I lay my head down at night trying to be at peace and find rest. Others slowly seep to my heart and remind me of past mistakes.As I sit here and write in the dead silence of the night, I am wondering who truly is creating my problems......first response is you, you idiot. Which is true to some extent, but Satan is the host of all pity parties, the cheerleader for revenge, and the leader in chaos. For where there are problems, hurt feelings follow, disappointments are seeded, division is an option, the battle has begun. How do you deal with a problem when the people around you need to be slapped into reality. When their thinking process needs to be changed? I have some "problems" in my life and am strongly convinced that I need to be the voice of reason in times of denial. Then the next thought is, what if I AM the problem? Some of this or maybe most of this might not make sense to you, so I apologize if my rambling has been a waste of your time. I needed to write out some of my crazy thoughts in hopes of a solution for the battles I am in the pursuit of winning.
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