Where are the leaders?

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams

Okay, I know some of you are thinking that Jesus is coming back since I'm writing yet another blog post, but this Mama needs sleep so I'm getting some of these conversations out of my head. Sorry for the ramblings, but I hope that some day my children can read these knowing that I struggled with parenting, marriage, friendships, just life in general.

Yesterday, at our LifeGroup we discussed the roles of leaders. I won't go into detail about the conversations, but this is what I've been wrestling with. Leaders should be held at higher standards than others, Right? We are all leaders in some part of our life, Right? Whether you are a factory worker, teacher, nurse, business owner, wife, mother, shouldn't we be thinking about who we are influencing? My hubby, the wise man that he is, basically said this....when I was single I acted a certain way, then I got married acted a certain way, then I had children acted a certain way, then I became a teacher acted a certain way....not that any of his actions were wrong at that stage of his life, but his influence became greater the more responsibilities he took on. So what am I trying to influence my children to do or to become? Are my actions modeling these goals? Am I surrounding myself with families that share these same goals? Do my children know why I'm trying to influence their character? Does the church reflect these same goals?

Seriously, today I was trying to "create a top 10 list" and I really don't know where to start. Here's what I got so far in no particular order. I would love for some wiser, more mature people to chime in.

1. Be honest
2. Respect authority
3. Have manners
4. Pray
5. Study the Word
6. Make good choices
7. Save yourself for marriage
8. Be organized
9. Have compassion
10. Help others
11. Use your talents
12. Don't be materialistic
13. Be giving of your time, money, and skills
14. Follow God
15. Be thrifty & use your money wisely
16. Be thankful
17. Be transparent, not fake
18. Ask for help, it shows strength not weakness
19. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all
20. Get an education
21. Eat healthy

All of these are good traits for my children to have, but I'm trying to focus on about 3 to really "live out" in our daily interactions with each other. I don't want it to become a list of things, I truly want to influence their life.

Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)

Love God, Love Others

Now that basketball is over in this household, maybe I can speak my thoughts without the bitter feelings of being a single mama for 3 months. No, this is not a bitch fest against my hubby, it's for ALL parents. First of all, let me explain the picture, instead of being a black stamp on my hand it might at well say SATAN RULES! For some reason, I haven't figured it out quite yet, adults think once they have this stamp everything is free range, yelling, cursing, immaturity, whining, basically any emotions you want to let react.....CAN. So, this stamp was given to me during a wonderful SUNDAY afternoon basketball tournament (insert sarcasm). After attending for just a few minutes, I wanted to take a survey of the crowd to see who just left "church", but then slowly said a prayer to handle myself in a Godly manner. You see, I am my father's daughter, my competitive hubby's wife, and a woman who enjoys winning, not just in sports, but everything....ask Mike :)

The more I parent, the more I realize that parenting isn't easy! Growing up, my Dad spoke "not so kind" comments, not only to coaches and referees, but to his own flesh & blood. I can recall the many times that my Dad got kicked out of ballgames for his behavior. Standing in the street at the softball field, cursing, yelling, acting on his emotions. Memories of words that were said after a ballgame and the feelings that I suppressed for so many years. Then the time that my Dad didn't show up for our National Cheerleading Competition in Tennessee because he didn't "like" cheerleading. Did he not "like" his own daughter? As I grow older, I realize that my Dad took the easy way out! He gave into temptation, instead of holding his tongue. He did what came naturally, instead of fighting against the norm. I can tell you this, whatever lesson my Dad was trying to teach me, whatever skill he was trying to get me to improve.....I don't remember them. I do remember the way I felt! Like a complete idiot, complete failure, complete embarrassment. Nothing I did, ever seemed good enough for him. I don't think that was his intentions, but that's what a little girl remembers when she looks back on those years.

So I'm writing this mainly as a reminder to ALL parents, including myself, to just be your child's biggest fan! Don't hash over the details, don't be negative about other players, coaches, or even referees, don't degrade, don't curse, don't yell, don't embarass, JUST DON'T. You may think I'm an idiot, you may think I have no idea because you don't have ______ as a coach, you may think well "my kids need guidance"....well you might want to read this too. My prayer is next time you get the "stamp", you will remember LOVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS.