Celebration 24 Rick Smale

Celebration 25
My therapist Rick Smale.

As mentioned in my earlier post, I had friends who challenged me to be a better woman for Christ, a more loving wife to Mike, and a more gentle mother to my children.  I was angry.  I was scared.  I was regretful.  I was slowly slipping deeper and deeper into a dark past that was forbidding me to shine my life for Jesus.  I didn't really KNOW this, but you could just watch my actions and question my ability for being a good witness.  They called me out one night sitting around the fire.  We had discussed past hurts, unanswered prayers, and our struggles with marriage and parenting.  Not a bitch session, just a heart to heart discussion. I remember my friend Jean, asking point blank did something happen to you when you were young.....pause......heart beating......"What do you mean?  My dad wasn't always the kindest with his words"..........pause.......me thinking Shew I missed that bullet :)  My sweet friend Jean again, "No I mean something else, I think we have had the same experience as a child, if it's what I'm thinking and it truly sounds like it is, Joni you need to talk with someone!"  I burst out in tears, shaking my head in agreement.  It was my deepest darkest secret.  It was the small voice that taunted me at night.  It was the one thing that I had pushed down so deep that I didn't want to relive that night.  

Reluctantly, I went to talk with a Christian Counselor that gave me scriptures to meditate on, books to read about moving forward, and just a sweet spirit to let me do the ugly cry without any judgement or fear.  He truly changed my life.  Funny thing was that once I admitted that happened in my life and quit putting blame on myself my burden was lifted and the baggage that I carried for so long was given a new home.  I truly laid it at the feet of Jesus and knew he was only one who would and could change me.  

Another thing he made me realize was the ripple effect of that experience and even though it wasn't an intentional act of rejection and hurt, I was a woman who needed to choose what voice I would listen to that day.  It was affecting my marriage.  It was affecting the way I parented.  I wrote a poem during that time that I want to share today.  

FREE
It's a new day and I wake up refreshed and renewed,Telling myself that today I'm forgiven and that I have no debts that are overdue.
I fight back temptations and memories that I want to go away,Because I'm choosing to fight my battles instead of hiding and running astray.
Good times, bad times, it goes back and forth in my head,Praying to my loving God, that I would continue my walk with him like I said.
Stumbling to be quiet and still to listen to his voice,Knowing that I have free will and hoping that I will make the right choice.
But too often, I go along in this pathetic life,Like a woman without hope and keeping tabs on all the things I don't do right.
Fall in love with me, worship me, allow me to be your all,Let me wipe away your sadness and grief, let me catch you when you decide to fall.
Holding onto the lies that Satan whispers in my ear,Has been my best friend, my companion, and excuse for oh so many years.
I ponder why he wants and seeks a relationship with stupid old me,Truth is, I do know the TRUTH, but sometimes it's more comfortable than being set free!

I am a free forgiven woman.  Do I have it figured out?  Absolutely not.  Do I fail?  Yep, most days.  Did my therapy fix all my problems.  Nope, but it makes them bearable.  Some days I need a do over.  Some days I fall back to my old selfish ways.  Some days I want to press the memories and hurt instead of facing them head on!  Some days I'm awesome.  Some days I'm more affectionate to my family.  Some days I don't let fear override joy.

He taught me to face my fears.  In his honor, I'm sending a special package to a woman who has faced devastating loss with honor and strength.  She truly is amazing.

Celebration 23 Hoosier Uplands Staff

Celebration 23
Hoosier Uplands Co-Workers.

When I was freshly out of school, I got a good paying job at a local factory doing secretarial work.  I loved my job, but my boss was unbearable. I enjoyed her as a person, but when it came to pleasing that woman I could do NOTHING to satisfy her.  It was a very long 3 years.  Freshly married, I would come home almost daily crying about what she said, how she treated me, or just from pure exhaustion of trying to perform at perfection level daily.  Mike had enough, he said you're quitting,...put in your 2 week notice and be done.  I did just that without having a job to transfer to.  It was a bit scary.  Giving up my benefits, my income just because I couldn't handle it.  God provided just like he always has.

Just 2 weeks later, I was hired to be the Section 8 Housing Specialist at Hoosier Uplands.  I worked for a boss, Amy Hopper, that made my job a pleasure instead of a burden.  She lead the way when it came to hard work, she never demanded perfection and she would do any job that was required instead of playing the power card of authority.  She was understanding.  She rewarded hard work.  It was good.  Also, there were others in the office that made my job fun and interesting.  We could talk about any issue and for the most part feelings and personal opinions didn't get in the way.  Addie always had a funny story about Chuck, her husband or her son, Damon.   She was quite the story teller and I'm sure America would tune in for her reality show.  Also, Jenny would tell some tales about her two boys growing up.  I can still remember the story when her youngest Kyle was using the bathroom and the toilet automatically flushed......he yelled "I'm not done!"  Then, there was Bobbi.  She challenged some of my thinking.  We would talk religion, politics, children, parenting, she would speak truth to me on some issues and I think I did the same.  We helped each other "talk it out".......mainly because I think both of our hubbies don't talk much :)  We had to get all of our questions answered.

There were others, but those girls were the ones closest to my desk.  I miss those days.  I didn't particularly love the job since it was working for the government.  Nothing better than to see your hard earn money going to waste on some people who played the system.  It was definitely eye opening!  I was in that office when 9/11 happened and I can still remember listening to the broadcast over the intercom.

They taught me how to be a good co-worker.  In their honor, I worked an extra 3 1/2 hours tonight doing a project for my bosses even though it wasn't needed until 2 weeks from now.  It really isn't business related, it's more of a personal matter for them.  I know they appreciate my help!

Celebration 26 Debbie Timmons

Celebration 26
Prayer Warrior Debbie Timmons.

Probably most of my friends on Facebook didn't know Debbie.  She was a quiet soul.  She would do things in the background never wanting to be acknowledged for her talents or good works.  I didn't know her really well, but her witness was still powerful enough that she is someone I thought of when I wanted to do these celebrations.  Her prayer life still challenges me today even though she is gone. I'm still trying to learn by her example.

If ever I needed prayer, she was the first person I thought of.  She was a woman I looked for guidance and she helped with my spiritual growth.  She had such wisdom and compassion.

Also, she was a good friend to Brenda.  I know that Brenda misses her dearly.  The countless cards she received from "her Debbie" could fill a whole rack at the local Hallmark store.  They always seemed to come at the right time and the words that Debbie wrote I am convinced came straight from the Lord.  Her words were heartfelt.  Scriptures that she quoted were perfect for the situation or trial you were facing.  When I think of a servant I always think of Debbie.

She taught me the importance of prayer.  In her memory, I prayed and sent some cards to several people that Jesus laid on my heart.

Celebration 22 Michelle Spear

Celebration 22
A woman who I used to call friend Michelle Spear.

This blog is one of the hardest for me to write along with the man who shall remain nameless.  They both represent hurt in my past.  Let me just start off by saying, I have no ill feelings towards Michelle.  I still pray for her often.  I'm not for sure what I did that was so horribly wrong.  She not only unfriended me on Facebook she completely blocked me.  I truly have no words for that.

I first met Michelle while working at Hoosier Uplands.  Later, I became good friends with her at Mitchell Church of Christ.  We were both about the same age, both stay at home mommies, both had husbands that were in ministry, both trying to live for Jesus.  We had a small mommy's group that met together and from that ministry our friendship blossomed.  We had many conversations around a fire pit in her back yard, many good ugly cries about stresses in our lives, and several coffee dates to get out of the house!  I read an article about such thing and I'm going to share some words of wisdom.

One of my favorite things to hear from a good friend is "Let's get together and have coffee."  It isn't just that I love coffee. (I really do.) It's that I love the relationships that have been forged over those long talks.  It makes us accountable.  Real gospel-driven accountability is way more about a life-giving relationship instead of someone reluctantly confessing their struggles.   Healthy, thriving Jesus-centered accountability is reflected in a relationship where each person encourages the other to know and love Christ more deeply.

Why do it?  Because the Christian life isn't meant to be a solo act.  We need each other.  We need the local church.  And at a more personal, one-on-one level, we need friends who will keep us accountable and remind us of God's truth.

Michelle was that for me.  I'm so grateful for that time in my life when God made our paths cross.  My natural attitude is to feel discouraged, to be hard on myself, to lose sight of God's sovereignty and sweet love for me.  He gave me Michelle who could give the best grace-filled pep talk and speak truth to me even when it wasn't easy to say!

I thought I was that for her too, but for some reason she pushed me away.  It was hurtful.  It was painful.  It was unexpected, but it is okay.  I pray that she has this relationship with new friendships, I pray that she knows that my door is always open, I pray that she is not going through life isolated and alone.  I hold on to the sweet memories we had together and try not to dwell on the rejection and hurt.  I'm not going to lie, it's not easy.

She taught me about accountability.  In her honor, I bought coffee for someone in Starbucks not the drive-thru, but someone sitting down having a face to face conversation coffee :)

Celebration 21 Russell "Goat" White

Celebration 21
Neighbor Russell "Goat" White.

Once Mike and I moved into my childhood home that we bought from my parents, we inherited good ole neighbor Goat.  While growing up in that home, I remember him sitting in the back yard always messing with something.  He had lots of projects sitting around and I remember thinking clean up your yard.  I was a young girl knowing nothing about owning my own home and how easy things can pile up because you have plans for them :)

Once Mike and I were living in the house, Goat had retired from his job.  He spent many a day planting his vegetable garden, fixing up boats, and visiting with my children.  NO matter how busy he was, he would come to the fence and chat with the kids.  He watched numerous fights from across the fence and would just wave at me when my patience with the kiddos were running thin.  If we needed any tools he was the first guy we went too.......it was a good thing that he had all those projects :)  He was as handy as a pocket on a shirt.  He knew something about everything.

I remember the day he passed.  I remember the chair that still sits in the yard where his wife found him.  I also remember seeing him in that chair several mornings reading his bible.  I remember when he told Mike and I that he was a different man because he accepted Jesus, better late than never he said! He was in his late 60's.  He was a good neighbor and I miss him dearly.

He taught me to keep things.  This is hard for me.  I struggle with keeping things that I don't have plans for in the next 5 minutes.  All the pictures colored by the kiddos, clothes that no longer fit, household items that don't have a place.  In his honor, I took some cookies to my current neighbors and thanked them for being good ones!  Even though, they will never compare to good ole Goat!

Celebration 20 Stevie Gilbert

Celebration 20
First Baptist youth group member Stevie Gilbert.

When I think about Mike's youth group days I always think of Stevie.  He probably doesn't appreciate me calling him Stevie, but he can get over it :)  I had my doubts about our relationship.  He wasn't easy to love and understand.  I wasn't easy to push away.  We battled several times about things, but I always appreciated his honesty.  He would let me know if he thought I was wrong, he would let me know if I was getting on his nerves, he would flat out tell me that he didn't like me and I was fine with it!  What he probably didn't know was that we were the same person underneath our outside appearances.

He had a wall, I had a wall.  He didn't trust people intentions, I didn't trust people intentions.  He didn't feel worthy, I didn't feel worthy.  He didn't want to get hurt, I didn't want to get hurt. He didn't feel loved, I didn't feel loved.  Doubts, fears, past experience, lost, worthiness, guilt....I'm telling you same person!  I wrote that boy several notes of encouragement and truth.  I prayed for him constantly.  I loved him as he was my own. I knew the game he was playing and I choose to participate.

Even though he made me mad some days, even though he made me doubt my beliefs, even though he pushed all boundaries.....HE WAS WORTH IT!  I never gave up on him.  He still holds a special place in my heart and even though I don't tell him often....I love that little turd!

I'm glad that later in life God gave me the blessing of him admitting that we meant something to him.  That we made a difference in his life.  That's all I ever wanted to do, show him the love of Jesus.  To let him know that he was a beloved son even if his earthly parents weren't so great.  He was loved by the Almighty Father.

He taught me to love even when you're not 100% sure. In his honor, I know he loves his kitties, so I'm donating cat food to our local humane society.  

Celebration 19 First Baptist Church

Celebration 19
First Baptist Church.

When Mike and I were dating, I remember sitting in the car with him one night and we were talking..........probably kissing too!  I remember he asked me "Why did you want to go out with me?"  I immediately told him because he was a good Christian man.  He teared up and told me I had been deceived. I remember that he told me he was NOT a good faithful servant.  He was raised in the church, but in his early 20's had strayed away.

He was going to school at Indiana University to be a teacher.  We attended First Baptist together on the weekends.  I knew deep down he was a man of God and just needed some prayers on his behalf.  I had prayed faithfully after the choices of men in my life that God would send me someone who loved Jesus! Then summer was here and Mike needed a job.  He applied for the youth minister intern to help out the church. Summer came and went and he was still there doing God's work and enjoying himself.  College started back up and he was asked if he would like to be the full time youth pastor.  He prayed and prayed and finally accepted the position.  He still needed to finish college so he worked and studied that whole year along with asking me to marry him and planning our wedding.  We had began our journey together.   I remember praying to God pleading that I didn't MEAN that Godly of a man, just a guy that loved Jesus.  I did NOT want to be a pastor's wife!!  I'm sure he laughed at me and wasn't listening to me complain :)

We had both been active in the youth and knew several people in the church, so it felt like home to us.  As with all churches, there were good people and people that required extra grace :) Those were some of the best and worst relationships I had ever experienced.  People who wanted to encourage and people who wanted to stir up s***!  I remember praying one night in particular during a youth retreat to either shut the woman up who was speaking horrendous words about my husband and the church OR TO SHUT ME UP!  It took everything I had to keep quiet and not let my ugly come out.  I never prayed for someone to leave the church until that incident.

On the flip-side, there were people who praised Mike and his ministry.  There were young mothers who encouraged me after Lily came along.  There were people who prayed along side me.  There were helpers. There were kind words.  There were lessons that needed to be learned by this young naive girl about how Satan can stir chaos, dissatisfaction, turmoil, and division in the church.

First Baptist taught me to be careful with my words.  In honor of the Church, I'm choosing one whole day to do nothing but compliment the people I'm around.

Celebration 18 Carrie Holmes

Celebration 18

A good mama Carrie Holmes.

I'm so glad that my church has good mamas to look up to.  Carrie is one of them for me!  She always has encouraging words when this mama wants to throw in the towel.  Her positive attitude is contagious. She cheers you on before you even know what competition you're getting ready to play in this thing called life.  

She keeps it real.  She doesn't try to be anyone or anything that she is not.  What you see is what you get and in my eyes it's refreshing and lovely.

She is one strong woman.  I have never heard her complain about life.  She takes one day at a time and trys to make a difference.  If you know her children they live by her example.  I just love that Libbie who by the way is awesome.  She set her mind that she was walking on her graduation day and SHE DID!  I never had any doubt. 

She taught me to have strength.  In her honor, I got myself a tattoo.  One of my worse fears......done!  

Celebration 17 Shellie Samsil Yother

Celebration 17
My bestest friend Shellie Samsil Yother.

We have been friends since I can remember.  We competed in the little miss pageant and that's the first time I remember our paths crossing.  She was kind and had a smile that could make all your troubles disappear.  We have had our ups and downs like most friends do, but we have never given up on each other or our friendship.  There are so many things I appreciate about her and feel blessed that I can call her my friend.

She loves the Lord. She tries to do anything and everything to please him and be the woman that he has called her to be.

She is confidant.  She married the day after we graduated and had the confidence that she would make it work and she has.  It wasn't easy, but she persevered through the rough times and I think her marriage is as true picture of commitment, not only to Andy but mostly to God.

She is brave.  She had lived in Jasper for many years and made a life there with her family.  She felt led by the Lord to move to Florida and instead of questioning she just DID it. I so want to be like her when I grow up!

She taught me to be fearless. In her honor, I flew all by myself! I put my big girl panties and flew to Florida to surprise her.  It was priceless!

Celebration 16 Deb Cory

Celebration 16
My mentor Deb Cory.

Deb came into my life during Mike's youth pastor days.  Their sweet family moved into the town of Mitchell and Mike was blessed to have a couple of her children in his youth group.  She was an important very involved person when we took prayer to the streets of Mitchell.  She was the person who put blood, sweat, and tears into the pregnancy center in our little ole town.  If you have ever been blessed to sit on her porch or share a meal with her and her family you know that she is the true definition of hospitality.  When I think of the bible story of Mary and Martha, I picture sweet Deb at Jesus's feet listening to him and absorbing all that he is.

Later when I decided to go back to work after Lily was born, sweet Deb accepted our request to watch her.  Their bond was unshakable, their friendship was pure, and their love for each other undeniable.  Even though I later stayed home with my kiddos, Lily still requested "Debbie days".  The visits have dwindled, but Deb still holds a special place in our lives.

She was there for me with words of wisdom.  She was encouraging when others wanted to blame. She has a way of just making you feel heard and understood.  She protects the innocent.....she will still get fired up if I just mention the time she took Lily to the playground :)  She will gently scorn, but always with love and kindness.  If you follow her on facebook, you know that I'm not the only one she has shared her gift with. She truly is a mentor to many.

She taught me the importance of being involved especially when it comes to the less fortunate.  To not be a bystander, but to do something.  In her honor, I will be donating a day to our local food bank.

Celebration 15 Pastor Raymond Bunn

Celebration 15
Pastor Raymond Bunn.

He was good to my husband, therefore he was wonderful in my eyes.  What I found out about Pastor Bunn was if he felt the Lord wanted him to say it.....he would always say it.  Even if it hurt your feelings, even if it wasn't what the lukewarm Christians wanted to hear, even if the deacons had asked him not to.  When that man rocks up on his tiptoes look out and listen closely because it's straight from above.

He took our church to places we had never been.  It was the best experience I ever had when it comes to being the feet of Jesus.  We literally walked the streets of Mitchell and prayed over households.  The holy spirit was in full force and I have no doubt seeds were being planted.  It was good.  It was different.  It was needed for our church.

Then, the announcement came that Pastor Bunn would be moving back to Virginia to be close to family.  My heart just ached.  I can remember that man praying over us when he left and at the end of saying goodbye he told me to send him the details when the baby was born.  It was the confidence in his voice that made me believe maybe I would be a mother one day.  The first time he met Lily, he laid hands on her and thanked God for hearing our prayers.  I can hear him know.......LORD hear our prayers.

He is a man of God.  He is a servant.  He loves ALL people.  AND I SURE DO MISS HIM!

In his honor, I will be eating breakfast with Mark Bryant, Rosie Evans (in spirit),  Barbara Buskirk (in my heart) and Mike at HIS table at Spring Mill.  I'll drink a cup of coffee and boss the waitresses around just like the old days.

Celebration 14 Lucy

Celebration 14
Best Dog Ever Lucy.

Ok. Ok. I know she is not a person, but she has become family to me.  It is going to be a very sad day when she is no longer here.  I keep trying to prepare myself for it because she is 15 years old that's 105 in human years.  She has always been a sweet soul.  She let my kids do anything and everything to her while they were little ones.  She wore bead necklaces, she let blocks be crashed upon her, she had her ears pulled, her eyes poked, and has been tackled more than once.....without ever snapping or growling.

We adopted her from the humane society when she was just 6 months old. I'm sure she had a rough life because if I picked up a broom or anything with a long stick she would bolt out of the room and have to be coaxed back.  One time when she was hit by a car, the x-rays revealed she had several bb's in her from being shot at a young age.  I'm sure we rescued her from a horrible situation.  In all honesty, she rescued me too!

I was newly married and Mike and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years.  After medication, counting days to ovulation, and lots of practice :) it just wasn't happening.  Doctors told us to take a break from trying since I could only be on medication for 6 months.  We needed to think about the next step which would have been in vitro.  Lucy filled that void and heartache.  She made me focus on something else.  She made Mike and I adventure out.....we took several boat trips with her on Kenray Lake.  She would be my constant companion when Mike was busy with the youth group.  She made me feel safe.  She's a good dog.

In her honor, I'm pre-paying for an adoption at White River Human Society.  I'm hoping that some family finds the joy that we have experienced with our sweet Lucy over the years.

Celebration 13 a man that shall be nameless

Celebration 13.
My ex-fiance a man that shall be nameless.

As far as I know, he still lives around this area and I think we could have some mutual friends on facebook which makes this celebration a little tricky for me.  I will not be including a picture of him or his name for my protection and his family's protection.  Like I said in my previous blog, I would never want someone to judge me for who I was years ago to the person I am trying to be today.  I have prayed numerous times that he changed. He had a wife and two beautiful daughters that needed him to be a better man.  I hope and pray he's a better man.

I met him at Bender Lumber and he sweep me off my feet.  No man had ever treated me so kindly before.  He was my prince charming that I waited so long to rescue me.  I remember early on, my friend at the time said you're going to marry that man and be a happy woman!  He asked me to marry him after just 4 months of dating and I gladly accepted.  I thought all my dreams were coming true..........until we had our first real fight.

I can be a bitch.  I can be demanding.  I can be unreasonable, I can hold my own when I think I'm right.  I can still remember where I was, what I was wearing, the look on his face the first time he choked me and held me against the wall during an argument.  I nearly passed out.  That was just the beginning.  He was mean.  He was manipulative.  He was forceful.  He was deceiving.  He was good at convincing me that I wouldn't find another man who would tolerate me let alone love me with all my flaws and weaknesses.  This didn't just happen quickly....it was a slow process with the brainwashing.

The last time I seen him was when the police arrived at my parents house.  He had found out I was dating Michael and was on his way to "talk it over with me".  End result.  My dads ribs were broken, I was hiding in the other room, while my mother called 911 and he was escorted out of the home.   I always felt terrible for my parents, they had NO IDEA how bad it was with him because I hid it so well.  I also remember him calling that same night telling me he wasn't done, he said "It's not over, I'm going to kill you, you f***** bitch".  Yep last time.

It took me years, I mean years to forgive that man.  I wanted to push the many thoughts, regrets, and memories out of my head.  I would love to say that he doesn't have any effect on the woman I am today, but that would be a lie.  I still struggle with my worthiness.  I still struggle with trust.  I still struggle with having a healthy argument with Michael, I just shut down.  I still struggle with being loved.  Some days are good.  Some days are HELL.  It frustrates me that he still has some control over me even though it's been 18 years ago.  I believe Satan thrives on this insecurity.  Which is why I ended up going to therapy.  I knew God had intended for me to be a better woman, a better wife, and a better mother.  My family deserved a better ME.

He taught me forgiveness.  In his memory, I'm volunteering some of my time at the local domestic violence shelter.  If you are in this type of relationship or have been in this type of relationship hear me say this.....YOU ARE WORTHY AND YOU ARE A LOVED!!

Celebration 12 Paula Lindley Butler

Celebration 12
My co-worker Paula Lindley Butler.

After going to school to become a flight attendant.....yes I know REALLY a flight attendant.  I had to come back and wait until I turned 21 in order to get a job since alcohol is served on a plane.  My first official job was at Bender Lumber.  I started out as a cashier and then got promoted to work in the receiving department.  Paula was my co-worker.  She was a hard worker and I think we just worked well with each other.  We had some deep discussions back in that building about dreams, difficulties, and life.  She was only a few years older than me, but she had so much wisdom a young girl like me needed to absorb.

She would invite me over to her home and we would "hang out" at her pool.  Also, she always was remodeling and I loved to help paint and decorate a space into something that made it her home.  She had the most awesome flower garden I have ever seen.   Something that you would see in a magazine.  Just breathtaking.  She would walk around pointing out flowers and telling me stories about who bought them or who gave her a start off of a plant.  She loved nature and it's beauty.  Now that I have been thinking about my life, she is the reason I started my business Barefoot Blessing.

The happiness that radiated from her and the peace that flower garden gave me the many times I visited I wanted to share with others.  In her honor, I will be cleaning out a flower garden without charge to someone in need.

Celebration 11 Alan Watterson

Celebration 11
My high school boyfriend Alan Watterson.

When I think about high school, most of my memories will involve Alan.  We had a relationship that was on and off.  I could write a whole blog about mistakes and what not to do while you are dating, but instead I'm choosing to reflect on the good that he taught me.  He didn't have an easy life.  He worked hard on his grandparents farm, he almost always had a job in high school and even worked through college.  He never expected things to just fall in his lap, he worked hard for the things he wanted.  I always admired that about him.  He was raised by grandparents who loved him and did their best to instill in him to love your family, love the land that you have, love the Lord, and love your country.

Anytime you walked into the house and Rush Limbaugh was on the radio, you better believe Sylvia was sitting in her chair, ice tea on the table, old nasty dog at her feet (his name I have forgotten, but I do remember he didn't smell the best).  You couldn't speak until commercial or he was done with his broadcast.  The table talk around supper was usually about politics or how Alan should be going to church more often.  Once I remember Alan telling me that it would never work out between us.  I didn't vote.  Politics  meant nothing to me.  He reminded me that men died for my freedom and I was just spitting in their faces.  I never forgot that comment and that conviction.  And maybe Rush rubbed off on me too :)

He taught me to vote and to be grateful for my freedom.  In his honor, I'm taking cookies to one of my favorite veterans.  Say it with me..........USA. USA. USA.

Celebration 10 Bob LaDue

Celebration 10
My high school crush Bob LaDue.

High school boyfriends came easy to me.  I almost always had a boyfriend.  Some not so good ones, some that cheated on me numerous times, some that really liked me and I was just playing the part, and some that were interested in a serious relationship while I was just in limbo mode until a better option came along. These are things I'm NOT proud of.  This is the reason I tell my daughter all the time that I hope nobody judges me for who I am today by the person I was in high school.

Then, there was Bob LaDue.  He was the one boy that really wasn't that interested in me.  He was not pursuing a relationship with me, in fact I'm pretty sure he was avoiding it.  We did go to Prom together and that gave me hope that maybe, just maybe he would "love" me.  Looking back, I'm sure he either went because his mom made him or because his buddies were dating my buddies.  I can't believe he wasn't interested I did all the things a psycho girlfriend would do.

Drove by his house numerous times.......check
Wrote him multiply notes.........check
Made him a mix tape of love songs...............check
Hung out with his younger sister in hopes of running into him at home..............check
Made him a video of "our story" with baby pictures and all..................check (this one is the most painful one to type)

Yep. Psycho.  I'm so sorry about these actions and I am thankful for grace.  He is happily married.   I am happily married.  Life continued even when I thought there was no way possible it would :)  

He taught me all about rejection.  To keep moving forward trying to become better than what you were in the past.  In his honor, I will be delivering a gift to a mother that has been rejected by her young daughter.  I think she is a wonderful person and I know that the pain she has endured will be followed with grace.

Celebration 9 Julie White

Celebration 9
My high school best friend Julie White.

Oh if anyone knows Julie, they know she's crazy.  She has a personality that draws people to her.  Growing up with her on the ball field, cheering side by side, and driving with the windows down with the AC on through the big town of Bedford....she was crazy.  Then after college, we shared an apartment with each other in Oolitic and I learned a new crazy :)   She took boring dull nights and made them memorable.  When I think of Julie, I smile and laugh.

I remember when we went to Nationals in TN, we were out on the balcony waving and yelling at boys.  Mrs. Wheatley have given strict instructions to be in bed and lights out....yet we stuck out on the balcony thinking we were getting away with something.  After a few minutes of waving, trying to get peoples attention walking by, Mrs. Wheatley leaned over HER BALCONY and said "Girls get in bed!"  We ran so fast into the hotel room and giggled ourselves to sleep.

Julie taught me to have fun and to be spontaneous.  I have struggled with how to honor that, so I asked Julie what she would do for an act of kindness.  She suggested several things and I plan to do all of them in her honor.  How's that for fun and spontaneous!

Celebration 8 Jason Tritle

Celebration 8
My friend Jason Tritle.

Actually he was my brother's friend, but he became my friend too.  While in high school, my brother was too cool to take me to school.  He didn't care if it was raining, snowing, or really hot he refused unless my mom made him.  Not Jason, he would see me walking and pick me up EVERY time.  Later after school, we became even closer.  He went to the military and we wrote  several letters back and forth.  When I was struggling with life he became the big brother that I needed.  He was the calming force in my chaos.

He would listen to me complain, he would let me cry the ugly cry, and when he was home on leave we would sneak a cigarette together.  He was a good friend. I miss those simple times.

He taught me to be kind.  In his honor, I have a gas card that I waiting til the right moment and right person to hopefully brighten their day.

Celebration 7 Mrs. Wheatley

Celebration 7
My cheer coach Mrs. Wheatley.

Oh Mrs Wheatley taught me so much.  I probably spent more time with her than my own mother.  Practice never ended.  Cheer leading season never ended.  She was small in statue, but mighty. She expected perfection.  She didn't have much rhythm, but yet she knew if your motions needed to be corrected.  Sometimes she could be harsh.  Sometimes she would leave mid-practice because she was so frustrated.  She was also gentle and understanding when you needed someone to talk to.

We probably would never know how many hours she spent cleaning cheer uniforms, prepping for cheer camp, and the out of pocket money she spent to make sure we always had what was needed.  I have told my daughter several times about Mrs. Wheatley when she starts whining about a coach and their expectations.

Mrs. Wheatley wanted champions and she molded us to become the best.  The countless hours of jumps, jumps, and more jumps.  Legs, arms, butt, stomach, every muscle we used would be sore because she worked us for all that we had.  That work was worth it.  Some of my best memories were the competitions we entered and several that we won.  We were the "team to beat".  She made a name for Mitchell High School and I'm glad I was a part of it.

She taught me hard work.  In her honor, I worked extra hard at my aunts house cleaning out a dirty nasty shed.  It was hot!

Celebration 6 Phyllis Fults

Celebration 6
My favorite teacher Mrs. Fults.

While in high school during my sophomore year, I would hear horror stories about Mrs. Fults.  I had Mr. Tieken during my sophomore year and all we had to do in his class was talk about football.  I was nervous thinking about English 11A.  Mrs. Fults did fulfill some of the rumors I had heard.  She was very strict.  She expected your best work.  She was all business.  She didn't accept excuses.  I appreciated that she thought we were smarter, that our handwriting could be more legible, and that our essays should be more thought provoking.  She believed in me before I believed in myself.  Then, we were blessed to have her our senior year because the Senior English teacher took the year off.  Mrs. Fults was so much fun that year.  She became my friend along with being my teacher.

What I truly remember about her is while turning in homework (like any teenage girl would do) in the corner was my confession of being "so in love" with my most recent boyfriend.  When the homework was returned, there in red ink......"True Love is NOT boastful" along with the bible verse reference.  I don't think I have ever written that I loved anyone on any surface since that day.  It was something that stuck with me all these years.  She spoke truth to me, not in a hateful or degrading way, but in a loving matter-of-fact way.

In her honor, I delivered dessert to my preacher.  He speaks Truth and I'm thankful that after all these years my ears still want to listen.